The Artist’s Way: Day 21
Today is a special day. A special week actually.
Exactly 5 years ago, I set foot in the Netherlands for the first time. Five years ago exactly, I was crashing the couch of a hospitable Dutch, Couchsurfing actually, while I looked for a place to stay during my first year as a student here. I could not afford a hotel at the time but even if I could, they were all booked up. Student housing was scarce and rooms were gone in minutes, so I was not the only one around.
I joined a Couchsurfing event that night, and was astounded to come across a person, who spoke Afrikaans (I clearly had no clue about Dutch history). I tried drop for the first time (no one told me it was licorice!). And I was resolved I will not be one of those biking people (silly me!). I learned what was the original name of New York (it was… yes… New Amsterdam!). I did not know that my 1-year Master’s would turn into almost three year one, nor that I would meanwhile move briefly to Japan.
Armed with the museum card he gave me, along with a map of Leiden, where I had set my mind to make a home for the coming months, out I went to look for a place to live. Little did I know that the months will turn into years, and somehow, this country would become my home. Someone told me back then that once you come to the Netherlands, you never leave. I did not believe it then but here I am, 5 years on.
21-days of writing every morning, 3 pages, is quite the commitment. Mind you, turns out those are 3 pages of A4! So I had to add an extra page in my small notebook.
There were days I was half asleep, grumpy, late… I did it anyway. Days, where I felt energetic and I wanted to go out and about instead, I still wrote. A couple of weekend days I woke up around noon, craving pancakes. I wrote nevertheless (and I still didn’t get them pancakes!). There were mornings all I could write was that I don’t want to be writing. Most of the time (and even now), I doubted what is the use of it at all.
Was it all fun? Not at all. But somehow, it is comforting. Putting my thoughts on paper first thing in the morning has pointed me to so many things in my life I am grateful for; things I can change — and things that are beyond my control. Places I want to visit; small things I can add to my days to make them brighter, all of this is on the pages now. And I am more aware of it. I think I allowed myself to dream a little more.
And a lot, and I mean a lot, of self-critique, deprecation, negativity. Not that I am perfect (who is!) but… a lot of what’s there sounds so harsh. I never, ever, would say those things to another human being — just to myself, about myself.
The only thing I can do about it for now, is to write it down. And then, proceed to re-write it, writing the opposite actually. It still rings false into my ears but I suppose, it is a process, after all.
One of my most favourite outcomes, so far, from the Morning pages, are seeking out and finding out about new books and podcasts, topic ranging from statistics to sleep to productivity and even business.
And a newly-found habit to walk about 2km to the office, in the crisp morning air, listening to what feels right. This morning I had the pleasure of listening to Andy Molinsky, professor of organizational behavior at Brandeis International Business School. He discusses practical techniques for getting outside of your comfort zone, and how that can develop new capabilities and experiences that can help your career (and life). How can I get out of my comfort zone and get the magic feel of discovery? I don’t know yet, but he has some tips.
Yesterday, I listened to The Science Behind Sleep and High Performance, as I had woken up more tired than when I went to bed. Two of the tips for better sleep they had, is sleep in a cooler and darker room. I know some who would agree!!
Another thing that has changed over the last 21 days is that I took actual action about something I have been passionate (read talking about a lot without doing anything) about: technology. Engineering.
I ordered a small tech-project, and now I just need to start assembling it. For now, I am doing the research, as apparently I have forgotten everything I ever knew about circuits!!
Overall, I would say, those were 5 years full of learning, and especially the first one and the last one. What a 5-year sandwich! And 21 days of writing morning-pages has been… hm… interesting.
The quote for today? There is something that I find amazing, and am terrified of, simultaneously and in equal parts:
exiting my comfort zone. It happens when I meet a new person, travel or move to a new country… Say something I haven’t dared to say before. Do something for the very first time. Dare to explore. It can happen at home or outside. But the common part is, it always feels equal parts awesome and terrifying. And for me, it is so hard to do.
That’s how I’ve felt over large part of the last 5, even 10, years. The quote comes from the HBR Ideacast episode from this morning:
There’s this diagram you’ve maybe seen. It’s about getting outside your comfort zone. There’s one large circle called your comfort zone and then a smaller circle well outside it called “Where the magic happens.” Sure, it’s a little cheesy, but that hasn’t stopped this doodle from plastering all over. It goes something like this:
– You get it, right?
– Yeah, I get it. Of course I get it.
– Here’s your comfort zone. This is where the magic happens.
– So, like, the magic happens outside your comfort zone.
– Yeah.
– Uh-huh. OK.
Yup. Day 22 tomorrow, what will it bring?
